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Past girlfriends had complained about his lifestyle, which emphasized watching sports and going to concerts and bars.He’d been called lazy, aimless, and irresponsible with money.

on the East Coast and spending a few years bouncing around, Jacob moved back to his native Oregon, settling in Portland.

Almost immediately, he was surprised by the difficulty he had meeting women.

Jacob was single for two years and then, at 26, began dating a slightly older woman who soon moved in with him.

She seemed independent and low-maintenance, important traits for Jacob.

Before long, his new relationship fell into that familiar pattern.

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