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The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time.

While the term has several meanings, the most frequent usage refers to two people exploring whether they are romantically or sexually compatible by participating in dates with the other.

This advice may still be helpful for sites such as e Harmony or, however these services guide the communication and there is less “emailing” early on.

Writing the online dating first email is the area where I made the biggest mistakes for the longest period of time when I was dating online.

It is also worth noting that most often discuss this from the point of view of a man contacting a woman, since that was my experience, but my hope is that the thoughts here are helpful to anyone.

This discussion is primarily for sites such as where you write the online dating first message yourself (see more on how works if you’re not familiar with what I’m referring to).

I would write overly long and, in my head, witty emails that very rarely received responses. My rule here is very simple: keep your first email very short.